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anger

Turning the Other Cheek…

By | anger, compassion, empowerment, forgiveness, stress management coaching | No Comments

Last weekend I attended a fund-raising event for the local Human Society. At my table sat several distinguished people from the community. In the course of the dinner conversation, a woman at the table made a derogatory comment about what she perceived as my “liberal perspective” and set off the whole table in voter anger (note: this is not why we were there!) In stress management circles, we have an expression that says: “Respond, don’t react.” Great advice! When confronted with anger, it is best, no matter how hard, to turn the other check. Meeting anger with anger only intensifies the struggle…and no one wins. To be honest, this woman’s rude comment came out of the blue and surprised (and riled) everyone. Often when people demonstrate such uncivil behavior, it is a form of projection. Turning the other cheek is not only a metaphor to act compassionately, but to let go and NOT take on other people’s issues or problems. Turning the other cheek is another way of saying.. “take the high road!” And when all else fails, remember the expression, “He (or she) who angers you….conquers you.” Don’t give your power away today.

• Stress Tip For The Day:
Turning the other cheek means responding, not reacting to stress (either anger or fear). Turning the other cheek means taking the high road, which often translates to coming from a place of compassion rather than mirroring the inappropriate behavior coming your way. This approach takes practice, because typically, your first response is to want to put up your defenses and draw fire. As you may have guessed by now, there is a lot of anger out there, voter and otherwise. Please don’t contribute any more to it, and as a reminder, don’t made serious decisions when angry, there is only more mess to clean up later.

• Links/Books Worth Noting:
One of the best books I have come across on the topic of anger is The Dance of Anger, by Harriett Learner. Another good book on this topic is, Healing Rage by Ruth King. I highly recommend both of these books.

• Quote for the Day:
“We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it.” — Abraham Lincoln

• Photo of the Day:
In the spirit of all Humane Societies trying to raise badly needed funds in these tough economic times, a photo of my dog, Logan, seemed like the most appropriate image for today’s theme.

Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D. is an internationally renowned expert in the fields of stress management, mind-body-spirit healing and stress and human spirituality. He is the author of over 10 books including the bestsellers, Stand Like Mountain, Flow Like Water, Stressed Is Desserts Spelled Backward, The Art of Calm, Quiet Mind, Fearless Heart and Managing Stress (6E). He can be reached through his website:www.brianlukeseaward.net

© Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D.

Stress and Impatience

By | anger, Coping With Stress, impatience, Life Coaching Tips for stress Management | No Comments

In this age of instant gratification, there is a corresponding increase in impatience. The ability to call up information in seconds, the ability to access virtually anybody through voice mail, email or text message, the ability to access money through an ATM machine or nuke something quickly in the microwave; these are just some of the many examples that bring the world to our fingertips in a second. So when things don’t appear instantly, people tend to get upset (for the best example, look no further than today’s political scene). Impatience is a form of anger, perhaps today the most common form of anger. Every episode of anger begins with an unmet expectation. Impatience is filled with unmet expecations. Experts refer to Americans as the “entitlement generation,” because by and large, we have such great expectations for immediacy, most of which come down to a selfish nature, all of which sow the seeds for stress, if we let it.

• Stress Tip For The Day:
Are you an impatient person? Do you have high expectations for how life is supposed to be? Do you get easily flummoxed when things don’t happed quickly? Do you tend to lose your temper at other people’s inability to do things quickly? Stop and take a look at your expectations throughout the course of the day today. Take time to fine tune your expectations. In no uncertain terms, patience is a virtue.

• Links/Books Worth Noting:
This video link has nothing to do with impatience, but everything to do with inappropriate behavior: cyber bullying. I was astonished to hear a college student on the news yesterday say the students need to be told (educated) what is appropriate to post on the internet. Apparently, (and quite sadly) what seems like obvious manners, civility and politeness is something not being taught by parents. The senseless death of the Rutger’s University Student last week was one of several deaths due to cyberbullying. Please take a moment to watch this video clip:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=592846987806

• Quote for the Day:
“I was imprisoned in China for 6 and a half years, falsely accused of being a spy. How did I surive? In China we are taught patience. I realized I had many years to practice it.” —Nien Cheng

• Photo of the Day:
While it might have been appropriate to have a photo of a someone banging on an ATM machine for their money, or yelling “Hurry up” at a microwave machine, I thought a relaxaing photo of Machu Picchu, with some Llamas might be nice to look at today. Enjoy! (By the way, it must have taken a LOT of patience to build this, not to mention the Inca trails to get to it.

Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D. is an internationally renowned expert in the fields of stress management, mind-body-spirit healing and stress and human spirituality. He is the author of over 10 books including the bestsellers, Stand Like Mountain, Flow Like Water, Stressed Is Desserts Spelled Backward, The Art of Calm, Quiet Mind, Fearless Heart and Managing Stress (6E). He can be reached through his website:www.brianlukeseaward.net

© Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D.