Comic Relief: Friday Morning Humor

I receive a humorous email from a friend in Ireland this week with the heading, “Why Teachers Drink.” While I certainly found this email humorous, I can tell you first hand that several of my former students, enrolled in my nutrition course at the University of Colorado, wrote similar type answers on their exams. In fact, I decided to add some of my favorite responses to this list (see Definition of Terms). Is America education in rapid decline? I’ll let you decide. In the mean time, I hope that these answers put a smile of your face. Where these students lose points in intelligence, they certainly make up for it in creativity. Enjoy!

Question: Explain briefly what hard water is:
Answer: Ice

Question: What type of attractive force or bond holds the sodium ions and chloride ions together in a crystal of sodium chloride?
Answer: James Bond

Question: What is a Nitrate?
Answer: Much cheaper than a day rate

Question: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
Answer: Unusual names

Question: Name one of the early Roman’s greatest achievements:
Answer: Learning to speak Latin

Question: Name six animals which live specifically in the Artic
Answer: Two polar bears & three, no four, seals

Question: Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld:
Answer: Mrs. Orpheus

Question: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom

Question: Where was Hadrian’s Wall built?
Answer: Around Hadrian’s Garden

Question: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
Answer: Mariah Carey

Question: The race of people known as the Malays come from which country:
Answer: Malaria

Word Problem: Steve is driving his car. He is traveling at 60 feet/second and the speed limit is 40 miles per hour. Is Steve speeding?
Answer: He could find out by checking his speedometer

Definition of Terms: Please define the following terms and provide an example:

1. Free Radical
Answer: Nelson Mandela

2. Candida
Answer: Country north of America

3. BMR
Answer: Bowel Movement Reaction

4. Health Food Guidelines
Answer: Don’t eat the yellow snow

Stress Tip for the Day:
Try to find something funny to lighten your heart today… and every day.

Links/Books/ Movies Worth Noting:
Decades ago Norman Cousins, the patron saint of humor therapy, watched many funny movies to help heal him of his disease. With stress levels so high these days, comic relief might be the perfect antidote or stress relief Rx. So with this in mind, this weekend I would like to recommend one of my all time favorite movies, What’s up Doc? staring Barbara Streistand and Ryan O’Neill to lift your spirits and put a lasting smile on your face.

Quote for the Day:
“If you stare at a carton of orange juice… because it says, “concentrate”… you might be a Redneck.” —Jeff Foxworthy (Blue Collar Humor)

Photo for the Day:
I took this photo outside a bookstore in Manchester, Vermont. Pretty funny!

Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D. is an internationally renowned expert in the fields of stress management, mind-body-spirit healing and stress and human spirituality. He is the author of over 10 books including the bestsellers, Stand Like Mountain, Flow Like Water, Stressed Is Desserts Spelled Backward, The Art of Calm, Quiet Mind, Fearless Heart and Managing Stress (6E). He can be reached through his

© Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D.

Brian Luke Seaward

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